Emotional Expression, Accessibility, and Crying

Southern women have a saying that I love. It is "I am indisposed." It's a polite way of informing other(s) that you are not available. It can be used because you have a face and hair mask on, because you're in the bathroom, because you don't like the person(s) in question, or because you have decided to be unavailable for whatever reason or non reason you feel like. My favorite use is the last.

Why do we feel that we have to be accessible at every moment of every day? Yes I have a cell phone with texting capabilities, a facebook account, a (okay, several) blogs, and multiple email addresses. Yet, this doesn't mean that I want to be accessible incessantly. Sometimes I'd like the cut the internet off (sorry roommates and girls who high-jack my wireless because you won't buy your own router...) I love the internet; I'm using it right now to listen to music and type this blog. But, I want to be invisible and inaccessible sometimes, like today.

In Beyonce's song "If I Were A Boy," she addresses the accessibility differences between the genders saying, "If I were a boy I would turn off my phone, tell everyone it's broken... I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go." How many guys are able to actually put themselves first and how few women get to? When is it okay for women to take off on their own, doing their own thing, and not telling anyone or feeling as if you must ask permission from someone? Why are women thought to be mentally unstable when they take a "mental health day" but men are assumed to have just wanted a break?

Why do women feel the compulsion to always be "there" for someone. I don't want to always be there; I'm tired of being the rock. I'd like to be the one needing others sometimes AND I'd like to feel like that's acceptable, not that I'm letting someone down by wanting to talk about myself or what's on my mind. I want others to be more accepting of a normal range of emotion. Guess what? Women get angry. We get hurt. We get irrational. We sometimes cry for no apparent reason (i.e. we might not be able to pin it down, but there's something causing it.) HINT: #8: A woman is never crying for no reason. Treat her as if she is at your own peril.

Word to the wise, (HINT #9) if a woman leaves crying, follow her. Even if she really, truly did just want to be alone, you'll get more points than you lose by following.

Why are women expected to be happy, bubbly, cheerful creatures always in the background. Seriously?!?!(said in my most Grey's-esque manner I can achieve) Seriously, what planet do you live on? Why should women be expected to be perfect when men aren't?

On that note, what's with the popular trend in the media's display of gender roles. Why are more and more of the leading men in romantic comedies the funny fat guy who's a neanderthal or else the femme/confused about his gender guy that we're calling "male"? The trend in female leads are nubile sex symbols/cougars who are perfectly capable of balancing careers, family, friends, living a crazy single life style, and still keeping it all together. The alternative is the woman who has it all, but is spinning out of control until a knight in shining armor appears on his figurative white horse. Worse than this is the helpless male in distress. As much as I hate seeing damsels in distress, it's sickening to see the gender roles reversed and "men" acting like women. HINT #10: Pardon the crudeness (because once again women aren't supposed to be crude), grow a pair.

Perhaps I'll write more about crying in the future since it seems to baffle most men.